Candle for Brigid

 I decorated and dedicated this candle in fulfillment of a vow to Brigid, as thanks for Her healing graces.  I’ve posted before about my struggles to understand Brigid and to discover if I had a relationship with her.

About a day after I requested Brigid’s healing help, I read a blog post somewhere on the web about how it’s a bit misguided for people to ask Brigid for healing help when there are better Celtic gods to call upon for healing. This was very depressing to read! Brigid is very well known in popular culture as a healing goddess though, and I’m not sure that I can move my understanding of Her away from that. Where does scholarship end and faith begin? When is popular understanding inappropriate? The world isn’t flat, after all, no matter how many people believe it or wish it so.  But reality is to a certain extent what we make it and so maybe the Bride does bring healing today, even if it wasn’t one of her first functions in ancient times.

In any case, I did make a vow and I did receive healing, so even if I had just asked the telephone repair person to hem my dress for me metaphorically speaking,  I had my end of the deal to fulfill. Initially I was going to repour a red candle that I have and decorate it, but this earthy candle with its warm, wonderful scent seemed much more “Brigid” to me. So I made it a collar of pretty sparklies and now it’s on our already over-crowded family altar. I hope She likes it. I think She does.

That was about a week ago, and last night I dreamed of Brigid for the first time ever. A lot of people have wonderful, profound dreams full of portents and messages from their Gods. I tend to have my subconscious freaking out and babbling at me in ways that are a bit labyrinthine to navigate. When things are particularly convoluted, I revert to dream journaling, never fear. Anyhow, I’m very happy for those of you who regularly get dream visits from the divine world. For me it’s a very rare occurrence.  The last time was years ago, and it was Anubis stopping by to tell me that I was being slightly silly. He was very kind about it and it was awesome of Him to make a house call to someone who doesn’t even worship in His culture or pantheon. It was much appreciated, and as I said, a very rare occurrence for me.

Inside Brigid's Well by IrishFireside, Flickr Commons

In my dream last night though, Brigid was heartily approving of some things I have in the works, even going so far as to show that if I followed through, I would be able to do some other things that have been lifetime dreams and goals of mine.  She also showed me a bunch of stuff about my relatives that I don’t yet understand, and gave me a very clear message about my deceased maternal aunt and why she had behaved the ways she had at various points in her relationship with me and my mother.  My relationship with my maternal aunt is relevant to my relationship with Brigid because my relationship with my aunt is one of the many reasons why I have always felt without family and adrift in the world. Brigid has enough compassion for both of us, it seems, and I think She’s encouraging me to follow suit.

So I guess I have work to do, both in work for financial prosperity and spiritual work of understanding and acceptance of my family background. Yes, a lot of people have turned their backs on me to one degree or another at times when I needed family most. But I am coming to accept that  some of that has more to do with the troubles in their heart and their prejudices than it ever had to do with me. I have always taken the blame, never felt worthy of anyone’s love, and have felt very alone in matters of  “family” since my parents died all those years ago. I have my own little family now, and as fate would have it, I’m married to someone who has a lot of similar “family” issues of acceptance. Perhaps we are together in part because of that.

I thank Brigid again for Her healing, for Her visit, for Her insights, and for Her patience with me. And thanks to whomever’s reading this for putting up with me in a much more “woo-woo” mood than I usually indulge in public.